Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
