I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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