what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
