I haven't been this sober since birth.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
