you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
