Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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