i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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