Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
