we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
