fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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