I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
