I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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