i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
