Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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