I bet he comes in French.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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