we're blogging at a bar
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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