There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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