after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
