It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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