at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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