I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
