I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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