I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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