I showed him my bush... on skype.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
