not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize