Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
