How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
