Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
third nipple confirmed
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...