What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"