Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

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  (305): Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever (615): She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister http://tfl.nu/5zux
  Replies (88) Good night (7807) Bad night (1430)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse

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  (773): so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse http://tfl.nu/dvkx
  Replies (9) Good night (666) Bad night (4220)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.

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  (203): I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help. http://tfl.nu/59br
  Replies (44) Good night (6189) Bad night (715)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.

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  (803): so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points. http://tfl.nu/u3st
  Replies (51) Good night (5170) Bad night (964)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.

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  (309): just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping. http://tfl.nu/3wmp
  Replies (17) Good night (3315) Bad night (875)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party

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  (508): the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party http://tfl.nu/wsii
  Replies (30) Good night (5969) Bad night (1045)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?

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  (727): I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there? http://tfl.nu/2pix
  Replies (105) Good night (38974) Bad night (1980)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.

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  (919): It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/wt9b
  Replies (14) Good night (867) Bad night (5153)
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  (707): View more from California

  You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative

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  (707): You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative http://tfl.nu/7tsg
  Replies (16) Good night (1152) Bad night (5661)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.

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  (506): No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better. http://tfl.nu/gi84
  Replies (5) Good night (2584) Bad night (929)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.

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  (765): On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life. http://tfl.nu/r8q3
  Replies (7) Good night (2012) Bad night (657)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.

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  (778): She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up. http://tfl.nu/0zw1
  Replies (4) Good night (1155) Bad night (684)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Cant promise that last part. I won't die though

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  (410): Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots (1-410): Cant promise that last part. I won't die though http://tfl.nu/qr7s
  Replies (1) Good night (1135) Bad night (480)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.

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  (502): Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain. http://tfl.nu/4o3l
  Replies (3) Good night (394) Bad night (666)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"

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  (630): The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card" http://tfl.nu/vfda
  Replies (2) Good night (1210) Bad night (277)

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