i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...