dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that