Texts From Last Night

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  (559): View more from California

  Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.

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  (559): Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/zft1
  Replies (19) Good night (994) Bad night (2808)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?

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  (704): but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn? http://tfl.nu/yhjz
  Replies (16) Good night (5732) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch

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  (858): Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch http://tfl.nu/zban
  Replies (28) Good night (8933) Bad night (1501)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Two words Indian burn...

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  What did she think it was, a shake weight?

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  (806): Two words Indian burn... (1-806): What did she think it was, a shake weight? http://tfl.nu/39re
  Replies (27) Good night (1281) Bad night (5941)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.

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  (912): Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops. http://tfl.nu/tuda
  Replies (9) Good night (1380) Bad night (3838)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.

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  (256): You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers. http://tfl.nu/otyu
  Replies (10) Good night (7219) Bad night (1406)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.

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  (402): The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities. http://tfl.nu/3lte
  Replies (18) Good night (7350) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester

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  (405): just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester http://tfl.nu/cozs
  Replies (3) Good night (953) Bad night (2636)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.

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  (308): Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/fw94
  Replies (14) Good night (6125) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.

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  (918): Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help. http://tfl.nu/4c79
  Replies (8) Good night (1264) Bad night (3043)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.

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  (605): Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction. http://tfl.nu/iqla
  Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (1670)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life

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  (781): U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life http://tfl.nu/mfnn
  Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  I was just power-washing my vagina.

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  (541): Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay? (1-541): I was just power-washing my vagina. http://tfl.nu/mkkk
  Replies (8) Good night (1450) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.

  (805): View more from California

  My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.

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  (805): Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something. (805): My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket. http://tfl.nu/4z93
  Replies (5) Good night (366) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"

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  (647): You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly" http://tfl.nu/saiq
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (350)

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