Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.

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  (609): I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife. http://tfl.nu/63v4
  Replies (6) Good night (757) Bad night (1268)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Call me "white mamba"

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake

  (251): View more from Alabama

  It is white.

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  (251): Call me "white mamba" (334): Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake (251): It is white. http://tfl.nu/1p0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1216) Bad night (1642)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.

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  (503): At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit. http://tfl.nu/01u9
  Replies (5) Good night (738) Bad night (3719)
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  (845): View more from New York

  hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table

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  (845): hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table http://tfl.nu/l87u
  Replies (20) Good night (3386) Bad night (1644)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.

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  (501): Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog. http://tfl.nu/8mg1
  Replies (18) Good night (10622) Bad night (2203)
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  (716): View more from New York

  That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.

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  (716): That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude. http://tfl.nu/2xpl
  Replies (7) Good night (3695) Bad night (799)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?

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  (403): When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain? http://tfl.nu/0j3p
  Replies (13) Good night (5151) Bad night (1019)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality

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  (708): I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality http://tfl.nu/1jam
  Replies (6) Good night (1473) Bad night (891)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...

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  (248): I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw... http://tfl.nu/f06y
  Replies (2) Good night (1432) Bad night (738)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?

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  (509): Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet? http://tfl.nu/3lpx
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (920)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player

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  (201): Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player http://tfl.nu/qjie
  Replies (5) Good night (1158) Bad night (859)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.

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  (561): Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences. http://tfl.nu/x85v
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her

  (718): View more from New York

  What is this high school

  (347): View more from New York

  There was a lot of catching up to do bro

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  (347): It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her (718): What is this high school (347): There was a lot of catching up to do bro http://tfl.nu/bof4
  Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?

  (716): View more from New York

  By the way, you're banned for life.

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  (716): HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR? (716): By the way, you're banned for life. http://tfl.nu/8d5l
  Replies (2) Good night (652) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.

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  (970): He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy. http://tfl.nu/et8w
  Replies (4) Good night (542) Bad night (340)

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