She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
