My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
