That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize