Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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