i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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