So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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