So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
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She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
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So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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