I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
