new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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