No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My penis needs a shock collar
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
