Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
