there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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