do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
