how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize