Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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