I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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