wake up i wanna do it froggy style
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
