Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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