well I can't set my house on fire every night
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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