Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
