The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
