party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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