does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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