She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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