Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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