Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
