butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I love you.
Bad choice
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