You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
