just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
