i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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