How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
